Short Story: Hall of Life Choices (©1996)

The Hall of Life Choices

 I float down the dimly lit hall, a large decision ahead of me.  It is time for me to choose who I am.  It is time for me to be.  You see, I am about to be born. 

As I near the first door His words echo around me.  "After you pass a life, you cannot return to it.  You must choose...quickly.  You must decided on the certain thing you will know once the door is opened."

The first door to my right opens and before me I see a couple.  A man and wife, both in their mid-thirties.  She sits in a rocking chair, rocking back and forth.  Her dark hair is short and frames her face.  Her blue eyes are watching the man carefully.  He is pacing the hospital waiting room.  He wants this to be over with.  He raises his hands and rakes them through his light brown hair.  His brown eyes darting from the window to her large stomach. 

I would be a boy.  I'd be given the name Kristopher Damen.  I'd be born with dark hair and eyes.  My first word would be "funny."  I would be one of many children, four would follow close behind me.  I would play soccer and be in the school band playing drums.  I'd become a lawyer and marry at the young age of nineteen.

The man, a factory worker.  The woman, a teacher.  He'll start drinking in a few years.  Then she'll start "falling down stairs."

I close the door and move on.

The next door to my left opens.  Inside is a young girl of eighteen.  Her long red hair falls halfway down her back in curls.  She has sad smoky gray eyes.

When she had decided to sleep with her boyfriend, the man she thought she loved....and did, dearly, in a way....she had no idea that a baby would be the outcome.  The minute her boyfriend found out she was pregnant, he left her with the short phrase.  "It won't work with a baby."

I'd be born a girl, the spitting image of the teenager.  She'll name me Breanna Leigh.  My first word would be "flower" and I would be the light of my mother's eyes.  She'll love me with all her heart.

Once I get old enough I will help with the shop my mother will open in a few years, and later take the business over.  We'd be the best of friends.  Life would be simple, but full of love, hope, and dreams that come true.

I know that if I close the door, I can't return to it.  It seems like such a wonderful life.  Though I am curious about what else there is for me.  I close the door and move on. 

The next door to my right opens.  I peer inside and see a woman laying on a hospital bed. 

 Many different monitors are connected to her body.  She is dying, but determined to bring her baby into the world first.  The man sitting next to her has tears running down his face.  He still prays that God not take his wife, but if He does, he'll love that baby with his all.  He'll give her everything she could dream of. 

I'd be born early and be in the hospital for a few weeks, but I'd survive.  The woman, on the other hand, would die shortly after the doctors remove me from her belly.

I'd be given the name Jessalyn Faith.  I’d have a gift, a natural artist like my mother.  I'd have flowing blonde hair and haunting violet eyes, like my mom.  I'd be a good student and a singer in the church choir.

My father would take good care of me and love me with all his heart.  He'd remarry in five years to a nice woman whom would give him more children.

The story is too sad.  I have to move on.  I close the door.  

The next door to my left opens.  I look inside to find a dark haired woman huge with the life inside her.  She wears an elegant red silk gown.  Her face red with anger.  Her mouth moves quickly forming words.  She is mad because she had gone into labor in the middle of an opera she was attending.  The man sat there listening to her ranting.  His head hung down, yet he looked calm, as if he were use to her outbursts of madness.

They think that they are having a boy, but they will get a surprise when they receive a girl.  I'd be given the name Alexandra Hope.  I'd have black hair, like my mother, and blue eyes, like my father.  I'd do well in school because it would be expected of me.  I'd be popular since I would be one of the richest girls in school.

My mother would only see me when it is convenient.  At the age of seven I'd be sent away to boarding school where I would spend my childhood and grow into an adult.  My two older sisters would be there with me, and my younger brother would be across the lake from us.  
No one in this family is happy.  Not one...

I close the door and move on.

The next door opens and I peer in.  I see a woman who has a lot of love in her heart.  Love for the baby she is about to bring into the world and for the man who helped make the baby.  He's out of the picture right now.

I'd be born a boy.  She'd name me James Conlin, after my father.  The man who would soon reenter my life.  He'll come see me after I'm born, and bring my mom flowers and an apology.  I'd be a musician.  Given the talent of voice.  It would be called "The voice from Heaven."  God's gift to me.

I feel that there is still something better for me, so I close the door and move on.

The next door to my left opens.  Inside I see darkness.  A haunting ebony.  The only light comes from above the woman standing in the back of the room.  I can barely see her.  Then I hear her speak, her words, soft music to me.  "I know that you can't understand this, but it's really the only choice I have.  I can't raise you because I'm afraid I'll abuse you like I was."  She says as she rubs her rounded belly.  "I will make sure that you go to a wonderful family and that they will love you like nothing else.  They can give you things that I cannot.  But you will always be in my heart and not a day will go by that I won't think of you, my little baby."

All I know is that I'd be born a girl and given up for adoption.  Nothing else comes to me.
This isn't the life I want.  I move after closing the door.

There are two doors left at the end of the hall.  The door to my left opens first and I look in.  I see a woman and a man.  She is a rich woman in money.  The man, on the other hand, is rich in love.  He will love his baby, she will not.  There is jealousy in her brown eyes.  She already knows that he never loved her, only used her to get the baby he wanted.

I'd be a boy born into money and lies.  Both my mother and father will use me to get to the other.  Already I can't stand it....

I close the door with a slam.

The last door is before me.  I am afraid to open it.  I'm afraid that I will receive the worst life yet to see.  I'm afraid...

The door opens and before me I see a loving couple expecting their first child.  They are excited and can't wait to hold the screaming baby in their arms.  The doctors had informed them, though, that there was a complication.  My heart is underdeveloped.  I may not survive....

I'll be born a girl, with the name Kirsten Eve.  I will live... at least to early childhood.  I cannot see past that.  My parents will love and support me through operations and a transplant.  They won't want me to die, but if that should happen they will be grateful for the time they had to love me and all the wonderful memories that will fondly be remembered.

I accept...this is my life...the life I accept.

A white light appears at the other end of the hall, I turn and run to it.  The closer I get the more I forget about all that I saw through the door.  All the lives quickly disappear from my mind....including the one I accepted.  Will I be a boy or a girl?  Will I have two parents or just one?  Will I like my life?  Will I be loved?  Will I be born okay...


The light is all around me but I cannot see.  I'm cold and feel wet.  Something sharp and hard touches me.  Something else is put into my mouth and touches the back of my throat.  Someone yelled, "It's a girl!"

That's it, I really don't like this!  I take a deep breath and make a shrilling sound that scares me but the sound keeps coming.  I start to move whatever I can.  Someone help me.  Someone... I'm being lowered onto something.... or should I say someone.  My mother.  She holds me close to her.  I can smell her.  She checks for ten fingers and ten toes.  A small laugh passes her lips.  "She's beautiful," she whispered close to my ear.  

"Yes, she is," a deep voice agrees.  Then I feel a set of lips kiss my forehead.  Is that you Dad?

I realized that I stopped making that sound.  I feel safe and happy.  I know whatever happens, I'll be okay. 

© 1996 - ANNISSA Y,   (MoonNStarMommy@gmail.com)
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