Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Taking Your Breath Away: It's All About the Killer Series

While faced with the task of trying to come up with some ways that the Serial Killer in my book kills... I of course turned to the interwebs to find a list I was sure that was out there - with all kinds of different ways to "murder" someone...

So when I found absolutely nothing, I was kinda shocked.....

... but then I started thinking, well, why give actual people who kill ideas ....

And then I thought, but they can just watch ID Channel to get all kinds of ideas ...

So why isn't there a master list out there?   Who knows..... but, guess I'm going to make one of my own.

So I sought out to create our own master list... and thought, I'm not going to limit it to just ways that the character(s) I'm writing would do, it's going to be a master, MASTER LIST ..

Asphyxiation is a tricky little thing.  There are several more uncontrollable (dare I say, natural) caused for being unable to breath. 

Drowning in various substances
Erotic asphyxiation gone wrong
Carbon Monoxide Poisoning
Halon Gas

A list on this website is: 

Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome
Carbon Monoxide Inhalation
Contact with certain chemicals. (like phosgene)
Drug Overdose
Exposure to low pressure or vacuum
Self-Induced Hypocapnia by Hyperventiliation
Inert gas asphyxiation
Congenital Central Hypoventilation Syndrome
Respiratory Diseases
Sleep Apnea
Breaking the wind pipe
Prolonged exposure to Chlorine Gas

Tools of the Game

Nylons/Stockings (Cindy)
Nylon or other cloth/fabric Cords
Phone Cord
Computer Cords
Electronic Power Cords
Plastic Bags


A woman is choked with her own nylons (Cindy)

suffocation by extended time locked in a fridge/freezer hidden in a scrapyard (Anton)

being compressed by weights until asphyxiation (Travis - See Also Stoning)

Monday, April 9, 2018

Is that a Rock in your Hand? - It's All About the Killer Series

While faced with the task of trying to come up with some ways that the Serial Killer in my book kills... I of course turned to the interwebs to find a list I was sure that was out there - with all kinds of different ways to "murder" someone...

So when I found absolutely nothing, I was kinda shocked.....

... but then I started thinking, well, why give actual people who kill ideas ....

And then I thought, but they can just watch ID Channel to get all kinds of ideas ...

So why isn't there a master list out there?   Who knows..... but, guess I'm going to make one of my own.

So I sought out to create our own master list... and thought, I'm not going to limit it to just ways that the character(s) I'm writing would do, it's going to be a master, MASTER LIST ..

Google Images
I first became aware of this practice while I was in high school and was in the Amnesty International.  You hear about it and you think, how could anyone do that?  Of course, I didn't get the internet until 1996 and by then I was out of high school and had a newborn, so I had a lot of other things on my mine then the women being murdered in Iran and the Middle East thanks to the word of their stupid-ass-husbands.

So I'm on this mission - and I remember, Stoning ....  I need to put that on my list because it hideous.  It is one of the few things that makes my stomach churn ... well any murder does, but as I was searching for graphics for this blog, I mean...  I am currently sitting here nauseated to the tenth degree.  There are death photos on Google of actual stonings.

To hear about it, and to see photos, it is two different things...  photos make that impact that even the imagination has a hard time drumming up.

Women can be falsely accused of adultery by their lying cheating I no longer want to be married to this woman husbands... and they do not need actual proof, they can just say "she cheated" and be done with it.  Now, if a woman wants to make a claim that her husband is lying and she never cheated.... SHE HAS TO PROVE IT.

It blows my mind....

And then I saw a photo of a child who had been stoned to death.  The child looked anywhere from 2 to 4-ish.  It's hard for me to tell exactly and I didn't see any information on the age.  However, apparently, a child can be stoned for disobeying their parents.

I mean....  gobsmacked.

Oh and ...  it is not illegal to do the stoning, but it is against the law to use the wrong size stone.  It cannot be too big or too small.  They don't want large rocks thrown that could kill them in one blow, and they don't want too small rocks thrown that cause no damage.

Although I don't suggest going and looking at the actual pictures ... I do recommend that you are aware of this practice.

I read that death by stoning came into use in Iran after the 1979 revolution.  Prior to that, it was used in Medieval times...  but it's on our radar because of the brutal deaths in the Middle East.

(You could watch the 2008 movie named THE STONING OF SORAYA M - about the true story of Soraya Manutchehri, an Iranian woman who was stoned to death in 1986 when her cheating husband accused her of adultery.  Not sure I recommend it.)

In the case of Soraya, from the articles I have read, stones were thrown at her for 7 1/2 minutes, and although her face was mutilated, her asshole husband approached her and check her - finding her alive.  He announced the "bitch" is still alive, and so they continued to throw stones at her for a few more minutes.  Then once they pulled her out of the ground, wild dogs basically fed off of her until only her bones were left.  Then her Aunt buried what bones she could find (I'm assuming because dogs can run off with bones.) ...

How covered the person is

I just can't anymore.

Beyond the stoning - as for throwing them - there are cases where stones are placed upon people until they are basically crushed to death.  I saw, in once case, a huge body sided stone was used to crush someone.

(Notes Below)
Google Images

Google Images

Google Images

Google Images

Google Images

Google Images


Being compressed by weights until asphyxiation  (Travis - See Also Asphyxiation)

DO YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL IDEAS???  Please leave a comment and tell me about it!

Sunday, April 8, 2018

Things that Shoot: It's All About the Killer Series

While faced with the task of trying to come up with some ways that the Serial Killer in my book kills... I of course turned to the interwebs to find a list I was sure that was out there - with all kinds of different ways to "murder" someone...

So when I found absolutely nothing, I was kinda shocked.....

... but then I started thinking, well, why give actual people who kill ideas ....

And then I thought, but they can just watch ID Channel to get all kinds of ideas ...

So why isn't there a master list out there?   Who knows..... but, guess I'm going to make one of my own.

So I sought out to create our own master list... and thought, I'm not going to limit it to just ways that the character(s) I'm writing would do, it's going to be a master, MASTER LIST ..

Google Image


Interesting Link List of various weapons through various eras & areas

Blow Gun (poison dart, tranquilizer)
Bow & Arrows
Tranquilizer Gun
Sling Shots
Tanks (Military, other military equipment)
Rockets & Missiles (maybe belongs in Bombs & Explosions)
Flame Thrower (kind a gun of some kind right?)  (my friend Jennene suggested)
Nail Gun (my friend Jennene suggested) (also my Aunt Cindy)

I wasn't sure if  the following could actually kill people, so here are some notes...

Flare Gun  (my friend Jennene suggested)
I figured that you can kill with a flare gun.  I don't see why not when maybe shooting in certain areas ... but I wanted to make sure.  So I searched.  I saw that a father murdered his three children with a flare gun.  Gah! I hate reading stuff like that.  Here are two answers I thought were appropriate.  Both from HERE.

1:  Yes. It's a 10ga pistol, which means that its bore is larger than a 12ga shotgun (yes, I now it's a smaller number that 12ga, just trust me on this). 10ga is the largest bore that you can get without a special license, basically getting pretty damn close to an elephant gun, though obviously a snub-nosed smooth-bore pistol isn't going to be horribly accurate. 

Essentially, you have a charge larger than that of a 10ga shotgun shell, propelling an extremely hot burning projectile (generally using strontium nitrate for the red emergency flare) with such a velocity and thermal signature that it can be illuminated and high enough to seen up to 50 miles away (a SOLAS flare). Strontium nitrate is so dangerous as a pyrotechnic that specialty companies have to have unique federal licenses just to transport it cross-country (though for some reason they can sell it directly to you, which I don't understand). 

How dangerous are they? Consider the force behind a heavy burning flare that was going to go high enough to be seen for 50 miles. Just the blunt-force trauma alone would be devastating. It would definitely break bones, crush tissues, and possibly even penetrate into the body, at which point you'd have an object burning at many hundreds of degrees inside your gut. That would suck. 

These things are so powerful that hunters in the Pacific Northwest often carry them as a "point defense" weapon against freaking *bears,* and it usually sends the animal packing. Everybody knows that being on a merchant ship off of Somalia is a bad place to be these days. A couple of months back, a Danish cargo ship came under attack, fired a flare at the pirate boat... and sank it! 

Basically, they're nearly as dangerous as packing a conventional pistol, but you don't need a license or register with anyone. Still -- killing someone with a flare gun is probably still a felony offense.

2: A flare gun fires a flare; which is a pyrotechnic that contains highly combustible chemicals to produce a bright light. The flare burns very hot for a brief period, and can cause sever burns or even death to a person hit by it. Flares can be hot enough that they will even burn under water. 
The active ingredients in the flare are chemicals such as potassium nitrate, potassium perchlorate, strontium nitrate or calcium phosphide; usually mixed with other combustible ingredients.

Tazer & Tazer Gun
I didn't think this can "kill" people, but can definitely be useful.. (my friend Jennene suggested)  I was wrong though... Almost all 18,000 police departments in the U.S. issue their officers Tasers, or stun guns, as a non-lethal alternative to subdue people they might see as a threat. But in a five-part series, Reuters documented more than 1,000 incidents since 2000 in which their Tasers have killed people.

BB Gun
BB Guns can kill a person.  High-Velocity BB guns which have muzzle velocities higher than 350 feet per second can increase this risk.  The US Consumer Product Safety Commission has reports of about 4 deaths per year caused by BB guns or pellet guns.

Airsoft Rifles
This one is still kinda a mystery.  I'm sure there is always some way that it can be used as a lethal weapon but things I have read are mixed.  These guns are designed to shoot at humans and I have read that it is not as "powerful" as ... say... a BB gun.  I have read, though - that maybe if you modify the gun and/or use BB rounds instead of the safer alternative designed to be used with the airsoft rifles, that maybe it could be used as a murderous weapon.

Paintball Gun
Can do serious damage.  If you crank the velocity up past 300 and/or freeze the paintballs it does become a deadly weapon, especially if someone is not wearing a mask.  If you got shot in the temple at relatively close range, without protection of any kind, paintball marker's velocity above 300, and with (or maybe even without) frozen paintaballs, it could be lethal.  A paintball marker set above 300 FPS can easily break bones in your hand.

Many paintballers have said that paintballs do not freeze (they tried).  The few comments I read said that it takes forever for the paintballs to freeze and when they are removed from the freezer it thaws out very quickly.  If it doesn't thaw out in a few minutes it's so brittle that just the burst of air to fire it could shatter it before it even hits a target.  One commenter said that their frozen paintball turned to the consistency of sherbert when it thawed ...

Water Gun
No way this could be lethal right? But if there is poison or acid or maybe even a biological weapon ...  but definitely if there is some poison or something that could kill someone either long term, short term or immediate ... it could be used as a lethal weapon.  (s1 ep2 of Deception)

Hot Glue Gun ... (glue them to death! LOL) (my friend Jennene suggested)
So .... although I can't see this actually causing death.  I can see this being used as a type of torture (and will have to add it to my torture list.  So ...  using a hot glue gun to glue mouth shut? Eyes shut. hands together, feet together, all kinds of things can be "glued" together (sexual also?) ... also super glue!?

Silicone Gun ... (Jenna) probably the same lines as the Hot Glue Gun, however ......  if you have someone tied up, and you want to kill them with it...  or if they are drugged, you could fill their nose and mouth full of either hot glue or silicone and that would completely leave them unable to breath. 

Shooter vs. Victim
Gang Violence
The Mob
Firing Squads
Mass Shooting
Hunting People
Accidental Shootings (or was it? Muahhahahahaha)

Shot in the head or heart with a roofing nailer  (Cindy)

DO YOU HAVE ADDITIONAL IDEAS???  Please leave a comment and tell me about it! 

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Ways of Torture - Spanish Boot & Foot Press

(all the graphics below are via Google Search)

I am doing research....  no really, it's research...

I have been fascinated with murderers for a long .....loooooong....... loooooooooooong time.  So working on this book and having a serial killer in it...  I'm taking the opportunity to do a lot of research because my serial killer ...  or is it killers? .... and I'm actually learning a lot.  I am also taking some notes from my constant watching of ID (channel) ...

Look at the times of the Salem Witch Trial where women and men who were accused of being a "witch" were jailed, treated horribly, and tortured until they admitted their guilt.

But this series includes some notes on Medieval Torture (or general torture devices)...

But the first thing I'm going to talk about is the SPANISH BOOT and the FOOT PRESS.

I have read that a lot of these different torture type devices were used in trials to coerce the truth out of the people they believed commited crimes of the time. It's sad in a way because it seems that this was a "guilty unless proved innocent" time of mentality and would very likely and very easily get people who were innocent to say they were guilty of something they really didn't do.

These are all very similar of a device, but also different too.  There are also similar things for the hands.


So the SPANISH BOOT was an iron casing for the leg and foot. (Sometimes only for the leg.)  Wood or iron wedges, or studs, would press against the skin, through the skin, into and through the muscles, eventually into the bones - breaking them - with every turn of a screw (or screws depending on how they were made.)

When you look up the "Spanish Boot" you see the following types of images (among others of different things)

But I think this is actually the SHIN CRUSHER which is a smaller device that squeezes the calf between two carved iron plates decorated with spikes, knobs, teeth, etc that specifically fractures the tibia and fibula.

However it the foot is in there in a flexed position, I can see it working with the foot in there.

These types of devices date as much as a thousand years back.  The first known type of - at least the idea of this device - was a Scottish effort.   They would make a boot-shaped rawhide version that would be soaked in water, put into place on the foot/lower leg, and bound in place with leather cords.  The book would be heated ever so slowly to make the rawhide/leather contract around the wearers leg and foot and it would apply sufficient pressure to cause pain but not enough pressure to actually break any bones. It was later made from leather, with hot boiling water poured over it, and it was known to actually eat the flesh away.

There were some that they would pour hot boiling water or oil INTO ... also.

There were also versions that started to be improved upon and would then be made out of wood and wedges that would actually would dislocate and crush the bones.

None of these sound pleasant...  and those pictures make me shiver.  A part of me always wanted to be a princess or live in that time, a tiny part, but those photos make the "princess" in me want to shrivel up and die!  Much like a lot of the "torture" devices.

This is what Wikipedia had to say:

The Spanish boot was an iron casing for the leg and foot. Wood or iron wedges were hammered in between the casing and the victim's flesh. A similar device, commonly referred to as a shin crusher, squeezed the calf between two curved iron plates, studded with spikes, teeth, and knobs, to fracture the tibia and fibula.[1]
Primitive forerunners of the archetype can be found dating back as far as a thousand years. The first Scottish effort also referred to as a buskin, made use of a vaguely boot-shaped rawhide garment that was soaked with water, drawn over the foot and lower leg, and bound in place with cords. The contraption was slowly heated over a gentle fire, drastically contracting the rawhide and squeezing the foot until the bones were dislocated, though there would not have been sufficient pressure actually to crush the bones of the foot. A more progressive variant, found in both the British Isles and France, consisted of a trio of upright wooden boards that splinted around and between the feet and were tied in place by cords. Wedges were hammered between the boards and the feet to dislocate and crush the bones. A prototype hailing from Autun, France, consisted of high boots of spongy, porous leather that were drawn over the feet and legs. Boiling water was poured over the boots, eventually soaking through the leather and eating the flesh away from the entrapped limbs. Lastly, oversized boots of iron or copper (often soldered in place on the floor) received the prisoner's bare feet as he lay helplessly bound and gagged in a chair. The boots were slowly filled with boiling water or oil, or even molten lead, to consume the feet and legs. One variant—applied in Ireland to the martyr Dermot O'Hurley—consisted of lightweight metal boots that were filled with cool water and heated with the feet inside over a fire until the water boiled aggressively.


Similar to the Spanish Boot the FOOT PRESS or FOOT SCREW can (depending) look more like a boxy metal shoe that the bare foot in placed in, with spikes, teeth, knobs and screws that will cause discomfort and breaking into the skin, muscle, and bone much like the Spanish Boot.   This torture device has a crank mechanism that will eventually break the bones if it's taken to that point.

There have been other versions of this device too...  you can read about them on Wikipedia along with various references in cinema and literature!
A similar implement, the foot press or foot screw, consisted of a pair of horizontal iron plates slowly tightened around the bare foot by means of a crank mechanism to crush the bones. Although it was quite standard to line the lower plate with ribs to prevent the foot from popping out of the grip of the instrument as it became sweatier, a crueler variant of this device—typically encountered in Nuremberg, Germany—lined the upper plate with hundreds of sharp spikes. A version from Venice, sometimes called the foot screw or toe breaker, connected the crank mechanism to a drill that slowly mutilated the foot by boring a hole through the center of the instep as the press was tightened. The instrument was of sufficient power and cruelty to pulverize the tiniest of toe bones.[2]
Medieval boots were built according to a wide array of architectures. One commonly encountered boot consisted fundamentally of a pair of upright parallel boards that splinted the toes. Turning the screw squeezes the toes between the boards, inflicting lateral pressure on the metatarsal heads and causing agony. This is the type of boot commonly associated with the torture of Esmeralda in Victor Hugo's Hunchback of Notre-Dame. The cruelty of the torture could be increased by spacing the toes apart with stiff wooden pegs. Various extensions of the instrument were designed to crush the ankle, calf, or knee in addition to its primary target, the instep. The toes often protruded from the front of the boot, facilitating the infliction of additional tortures, such as forcibly tearing the nails from the toes with red-hot iron pincers.

It's All About The Killer Series ..

So I started to work on the actual history of the crimes in my book....

I have been fascinated with murderers for a long .....loooooong....... loooooooooooong time.  So working on this book and having a serial killer in it...  I'm taking the opportunity to do a lot of research because my serial killer ...  or is it killers? .... but I'm actually learning a lot.  I am also taking some notes from my constant watching of ID (channel) ...

But there was definitely some huge holes in my research.

.......... see...  I started to do the research, and I found things were lacking....  I mean, of course, how much information do people out there REALLY want out there on murder and serial killers?

Okay - there is no research lacking on actual serial killers but there are things that ARE lacking ....

......... like, I was looking for a specific list as to how a serial killer may commit murder, like ...  stabbing, shooting, hanging, poisoning, etc ..... a one stop shop list.

............... but I found ....... nothing........

Things were really lacking there.

So of course from there ...  after search and search and search .... hours and hours of clicking and going "nope" in my head ...  I started my own list.  I think I have a pretty good list.  Then I thought, shoooo I should post it ...

So I'm going to do various blogs, about certain ways a killer may murder ...  my notes, things I find interesting, good to know things, etc and so on, and I'm going to link them all in one place - HERE - when I get them done.

So ....  the blogs that I write up will be linked in this blog, below...

But this series includes some notes on Medieval  & Current Ways to Torture (or general torture devices)...  When you "TORTURE" someone you may not necessarily kill someone, or they may not have certain death because of doing this type of torture, and/or use particular torture devices, so they will be on separate lists. Ways to torture and torture/torture devices that kill ...

So there is some pretty interesting devices of torture ....

WAYS TO TORTURE:  <== may not result in actual death

WAYS OF THE PAST: Medieval Type Torture (Devices)
  • First off, there is the Callahan.....  like.... wow (my son's name is Calahan).  But there is no info out there that I can find, so...  does it really exist?
  • Spanish Boot & Foot Press *New 3-24-18*
  • Breast Ripper (AKA Iron Spider or just Spider) and Tongue Tearer
  • Pear of Anguish (aka Choke Pear) 
  • Cattle Prod
  • Heretic's fork
  • Tean Zu (for women, translated: literally: "finger compressing")
  • Kia quen (for men, translated: literally: "pinching-sticks")
  • Mancuerda
  • Parrilla
  • Pau de Arara
  • Pendulum
  • Stocks and Pillory
  • Rope
  • Scavenger's Daughter (AKA Skevington's gyves, iron shackle, as the Stork (as in Italian cicogna) or as Spanish A-frame. Further it is known as Skevington's daughter)
  • Scold's Bridle (AKA witch's bridle, a brank's bridle, or simply branks)
  • Tablilla
  • Thumbscrew
  • Tramp Chair
  • Tucker Telephone
  • Wooden Horse (AKA Wooden Horse, Spanish Donkey, Cavaletto Squarciapalle)

Mental (Psychological) Torture Methods
  • Blackmail (Exploitation of secrets)
  • Chinese water torture
  • Disfigurement threats (permanent, severe to self or loved ones)
  • Exploitation of fears (kidnapping and ransom, threats of death to loved ones or the victim)
  • Exploitation of phobias (mock execution, leaving an arachnophobe in a room full of spiders)
  • Forced nudity/prostitution (sex trafficking)
  • Interrogation for long periods
  • Music torture
  • Pharmacological torture
  • Sensory deprivation
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Solitary confinement
  • Waterboarding

Physical Torture Methods
  • Beatings and physical violence
  • Blinding with light
  • Boiling
  • Bone breaking
  • Branding
  • Castration
  • Chinese water torture
  • Garrote/Strangling
  • Cold Cell Torture (Cold Air/Cold Water/Ice Water Showers/Ice Baths)
  • Combing
  • Crushing
  • Cutting
  • Denailing
  • Disfigurement
  • Drowing
  • Dunking
  • Electroshock weapon (Includes Tazers & Close-Contact Stun Guns, Cattle Prod)
  • Flagellation
  • Foot roasting
  • Foot whipping (aka bastinado) 
  • Force-feeding
  • Genital mutilation/forced circumcision
  • Glue (hot glue gun, super glue)
  • Hamstringing
  • Hypothermia (cold cell torture)
  • Jetliner position
  • Kneecapping
  • Keelhauling
  • Mutilation
  • Noise torture
  • Oxygen deprivation
  • Pitchcapping
  • Pressure points 
  • Rape
  • Rat torture
  • Riding the rail 
  • Sexual assault 
  • Sawing
  • Scalping
  • Scaphism
  • Shrimp tie (ebi-zeme)
  • Sleep deprivation 
  • Sound torture (extremely high volumes, dynamic range, low frequency, high pitched noise, intended to interfere with rest, cognition and concentration)
  • Starvation 
  • Strappado/squassation (aka "reverse hanging" and "Palestinian hanging") 
  • Stress positions 
  • Ta'liq hanging from a metal bar
  • Tarring and feathering
  • Thumbscrew (torture)
  • Tickle torture
  • Tooth extraction 
  • Wailing 
  • Water cure
  • Waterboarding


WAYS OF THE PAST: Medieval Type Torture
  • Brazen Bull <=== working on 
  • Breaking Wheel <=== working on 
  • German Chair
  • the Head Crusher
  • Instep Borer
  • Iron Chair (aka: the Chinese Torture Chair, the Torture Chair)
  • Iron Maiden
  • Judas Cradle (aka: Judas Chair or The Guided Cradle) 
  • the Rack (aka Duke of Exeter's Daughter)
  • Impalement 


  • "Angel of Death" Medical Professionals playing God
  • Arterial Gas Embolism (AGE)
  • Asphyxiation/Suffocation/Strangulation/Hanging (*NEW* 4.10.18)
  • Biological Weapon (Illness Epidemic)
  • Blunt Force Trama (w/ various instruments)
  • Body Trama (saw body in half - either direction, disemboweled, etc)                                     (also) Drawn, Hanged & Quartered - could adjust from horse to 4-wheeler
  • Bombs & Explosions
  • Buried Alive
  • Burns/Fires
  • Car accident (on purpose - cut break line, hit & run, running into on repeat)
  • Chemical Warfare
  • Death from Pain (too much stress on the body)
  • Decapitation ("Off with their head!")
  • Drownig
  • Drug Overdose (Street Drugs, more potent drugs)
  • Eaten by animals (Rat Torture, Dogs, Gators & other wild animals)
  • Electrocution/Shock Treatment (Tazers, Cattle Prod)
  • Exsanguination (massive blood loss)
  • Fall from heights (pushed)
  • Flaying (Skinning)
  • Forced Suicide (often with threats of a child or other loved ones death if they don't)
  • Freezing (temps, long exposure to cold)
  • Gun Shot/Firing Squad/Mass Shootings (*NEW* 4.8.18)
  • Medication Overdose (that is not self inflicted suicide)
  • Poison
  • Stabbing
  • Starvation/Dehydration
  • Stoning (buried up to neck - stones thrown, large stones placed upon a body/packed on head ... done in the middle east.) (*NEW* 4-9-18)
  • Various Medieval Torture Device

List of ways to "get rid" of a body
Cold Case Options
Taunting Letters to Media and Law Enforcement

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Dark Woods: Chapter Two © 2017

Chapter Two

She sat back and glanced at her clock, five hours later, she realized.  She had been in her head for five straight hours without so much as to get up for a drink or a bathroom break.  That wasn’t exactly her normal, but she wasn’t surprised either.  In her experience, sometimes when you were so stuck in your characters, it’s hard to pull yourself out, even for your own needs.
Her bladder was screaming, her stomach was growling, and she’d been gnawing on nothing but hard candies she kept in her desk.  She was starving and needed to pee worse than a toddler who drink five juice-boxes.   She got up, stretched, and walked to the bathroom.  After she washed her hands and dried them, she made her way to the kitchen.
She hadn’t even taken out the braid she had put in her red hair the night before to sleep.  She had thrown on a pair of form fitted leisure wear pants that were so comfortable and soft along with a long comfy white lacey shirt.  She reached back, pulling out the hair band, and combed through her long hair with her hands until the braid broke up.  She gathered her long red locks with her hands, pulling it up, and twisting it into a messy bun, using the same hair tie. 
She grabbed her phone from where she had put it that morning, to charge, on the kitchen counter.  As she opened her refrigerator to make herself something to eat, she was simultaneously checking her Facebook.  She saw that both Gullia and Catrina had responded in the message, and with Gabby, the three of them had continued chatting over the day as she found 75 new messages in the group discussion.  As she skimmed it, it seemed that the majorities of the younger girls and all the male children, except the baby, was going to be invading various grandparent’s houses.  It wasn’t going to be a girl’s night, but rather an adult night, with the four girls having their own night.  The men all discussed and decided there would be a BBQ and they’d be using her grill.  Then there was talk of dragging along another guy so they could play poker. 
She sighed. 
They would all be congregating at her house in about two hours, Emma would be home in a little over an hour.   She put her phone back down on the counter and walked back to the fridge.  She started pulling stuff out for a good salad; roman hearts greens, cheese, her favorite dressing, some onion and peppers she kept diced up in small round Tupperware that she kept in her fridge.
She was in a good place to stop writing for a few days.  Her main character, Detective Penelope Hennessy had just come across a very good clue in her homicide investigation.  The love interest was trying to help her, which was only hindering her.  Typical love hate relationship with a high kick in the pants of sexual frustration.  A few more clues and more leg work that would have otherwise been necessary without the man on the short leash because he wouldn’t stop trying to solve things himself, the book would be done.  Though, they had a brief drunken night of sex about six books ago, they were both fighting the clear lust they felt for one another.  It was about time to just let them take a step into a coming together in a relationship.  The sexual frustration between the two of them had her ready to scream. 
There was a knock on the door. 
She looked down at her salad, already half eaten.   How’d that happen?  She thought.   She really was stuck in her head still.   She walked over to her front door and saw her sister on the other side of the glass with a diaper bag slung over her shoulder and an infant car seat hooked on her arm. 
“I didn’t think you were coming until later,” she said opening the door. 
Gabby walked in.  “I didn’t know if you had the alarm on or not.”
“Nope, although the way I just wrote, I probably should have.”
Gabby put the baby, still in his car seat, on the floor and slid out of her jacket.  “I really wish you weren’t so apprehensive after all these years.” 
“Better safe….” She said trailing off.  She kneeled down and quickly made work of the complicated baby buckle and slid her tiny new nephew out of the car seat.  “Hello my sweet Xavier,” she fussed at the baby.  She looked at her sister and stood back up.  “I already pulled out the play pen and swing and stuff.  I put it in the family room by the fire place in case it gets chilly tonight.”
“Wonderful,” Gabby smiled.  “Am I bugging you being early?”
Bella laughed.  “Not at all.  I just didn’t come out of my head until a little bit ago.  I was catching up on the message and all the plans while trying to scarf down some salad.”
“Give me my son so you can eat.”
Bella made and evasive move.  “Not on your life!”  She laughed.  The baby was tucked into her arm and sucking on his fist already, giving clear indications he was probably going to start hollering for his dinner soon. 
“What’s going on with the book?”
Bella kissed the baby all over his face as they walked to the family room, he’d turn towards her when she kissed him.  He was most definitely hungry.  “I am going to give him to you, because I know what is about to happen, however I reserve the right to use my Auntie-Never-Put-Him-Down card for the rest of the night.  Plus, you are going to have to pump and dump tonight.”
“Oh I know it,” Gabby snickered.  She took the baby as Bella handed him to her.  She immediately sat down and unbuttoned her top to nurse the baby.  “Now the book.”
“Hang on,” Bella left the room, walked to the kitchen, grabbed her bowl of salad, and walked back.  She sat down on the sectional across from Gabby.  “Okay, so…” she started as she got comfortable.  “Penelope got her first big break on solving the double murder she’s investigating.  Everette is being … well… Everette.”
Gabby couldn’t help but to giggle, which startled the baby making him cry.  She soothed him, humming as she tried to get him to latch back onto her breast.  “What is the murder this time?”  She asked when Xavier latched on and started to suckle again. 
Bella looked up.  She forgot she really hadn’t gotten to give Gabby a run down because she’d had Xavier only six weeks prior.  Gabby was always her literary sounding board.   “So it’s a young teenage couple who are doing sacrificial killings to please the God they are trying to gain favor with.”
“Oh that’s a new one,” Gabby said. 
“Yeah I needed something shocking, and true.   The two girls they already killed, were virgins, of course.”
“Makes sense,” Gabby said.  “What about Everette.”
“His editor is putting a lot of pressure on him to get the scoop of the story, so of course he’s trying to pick Penelope’s brain while trying to get the scoop and doing his own digging which keeps him bumping into Penelope in places he shouldn’t be.”
“Well of course, but what happens if he somehow stumbles on them doing one and doesn’t ever see their faces, but manages to save the girl, because I assume they are only killing femals….  What if he got some photos of it with his phone or something, before the two got spooked and ran off – which is what initially ends up saving the girl.”
“I like that,” she said.  She pulled her cell phone out making some notes and sending it to her main computer.   “So who is this dude that’s coming tonight for poker?”
“Oh Jensen,” she said.  “You know Jensen.”  
Bella started blankly at Gabby.  She couldn’t place him.  Then it clicked.    “The Sheriff?”
“Yeah,” Gabby whispered.  “Come on Bell, we’ve been here, what… five years now?  I think we’re good and I know that underlying fear of cops they instilled in you is still active but, I think it’s time to try to work through some of this stuff.”
“I have worked through it,” Bella uttered.  “About as worked through as one can work through living a nightmare and not being able to leave it because, well, it’s real.”  She countered.  “And it’s not that I don’t trust cops, Gab, it’s more like I don’t trust anyone.”
“You trust me, right?”  Gabby objected. 
“Gabs, I have always trusted you.  There was a time where you were the only person I trusted, and you know that.  Then it grew with your family,” she muttered.
“Our family….”
“Our family,” Bella corrected.  She reached over and pulled her sister’s reddish-brown hair.  It was funny, at least to her at times, how people didn’t question if they were related or not.  Gabby’s reddish-brown hair and her atomic red hair were really only a few shades away from each other.  Gabby had blue eyes and she had these bluish green eyes that could look either vibrant blue or emerald green depending on the light.  They both had round faces, but Bella’s chiseled nose was a contrast to Gabby’s cute but wider nose.  Gabby’s eyes were a bit smaller, but they had the same general shape, which is something they had both commented on a lot.  How much they did kind of look like sisters. 
“You trust me, I know you trust Callum.”  Gabby started talking as she repositioned the baby.  “You know they like to play poker and it’s better the more people are involved.  Don moved and so they had to find themselves a forth for their regular games.”
“But Sheriff Jensen Gatewood?”  Gabby nodded and snickered at Bella’s questioning.  “His family is so prominent in the town.  His one Granddad is Major, people in his family own half the town, I mean they’ll have to leave town if they don’t let him win.”
“Why Bella as I live and breathe,” Gabby said throwing out her best southern accent.  “If I didn’t know better I’d swear you felt more for our local hunk of a sheriff then butterflies and fireflies.”
Bella rolled her eyes as she stuffed her face with the last of her salad.  “I’m not interested.”
Gabby gave her a sideways glance that said she don’t believe a word out of her face.  “Bella…” she trailed off cocking her head to the side. 
Bella looked at her sister, her best friend, and all she saw was the most beautiful girl.  In school Bella couldn’t imagine what she wanted to do with some rail thin frizzy red head who had on thrift clothes and was perfectly happy melding into whatever chair her ass was parked in.  It wasn’t until Gabby started talking to her that Bella started coming out of her shell and really stopped being afraid, started being herself, and started finding her voice. It was Gabby who taught her how to brush her hair, use a tampon, and put on makeup.  If she were a hundred percent honest, if it weren’t for Gabby, she’d be dead.  She might not have run away that night, she would have had no one to trust, and she wouldn’t have had the courage to tell the police. 
“What?”  She got up, quickly taking her empty bowl into the kitchen.  She left it in the sink and walked back into the room where she found Gabby a little more comfortable with a sleeping baby on her chest.  “I don’t know why you seem to be under the impression I have any feelings for him.”
Gabby rolled her eyes.  “Remember when I first moved here?  We were at the diner and he came in.  You watched him, slowly, move from the door as he tipped his hat to people all the way to the far end of the bar, even turning in the booth as he moved past us, and he sat down.  His mom came out, leaned over and kissed his cheek, threw down a slice of pie in front of him.  He scanned the room, you two made eye contact, and I swear on my children, you blushed and you spun around back towards me acting like you hadn’t just exchanged a smoldering glance with a really hot guy in uniform.”  Gabby watched her sister’s eyebrows furrow together and her eyes get squinty.  “And then you tried to make me believe that you hadn’t just got caught like a kid with their hand stuck in the cookie jar, or it that case, the hunky man jar.  Then you spent the last couple of years avoiding the hell out of him.”
Bella shook her head.  “You seriously need to start writing smut books.”
“It’s about time you stop avoiding him.  He’s not a fucking pit bull or something.  He doesn’t bite.” Gabby smiled in a slow sly way.  “But I bet it would feel so good if he did!” She cracked herself up laughing.  “Especially if it’s the lobe of your ear or your lip after a hot steamy curl your toes kind of kiss.” Gabby stopped snickering, amusing herself.  The baby was fussing and she automatically started to pat his back.  “Shoo I need to stop or I’m gonna end up pregnant again.”
This time Bella did laugh.  “Sometimes I hate you.”
“Nah,” Gabby countered.  “You never do.  Oh, by the way, don’t forget to put on something sexy and wear your hair down.”
“So, sweats and a messier messy bun?  Got it!”

Two hours later she found herself in her bathroom.  She had showered, brushed her teeth, and now she was staring at herself in the mirror.  She’d be damned if she was going to go out of her way to pretty up for a night in with the girls, in her own home.   She didn’t have feelings for him.  Though, if she were going to be honest with herself, she had to admit that day in the diner she couldn’t take her eyes off of him, and she did get spooked when he caught her staring at him.  If she had her way, she would have gotten up and left the diner too, but her whole family was there and that would have been a little hard to explain. 
Fact is, she was still very spooked by cops, but less spooked than her sixteen or eighteen-year-old younger self.  She didn’t get that inbred fear and rabbit response to bolt.  Gabby was right, she really needed to get over her fears but at this point in her life, she didn’t see that happening.  It wasn’t like she’d ever see the monsters again.  They were both sentenced to the death.  Why was she still on edge?  Why did she still panic and feel like she needed to look over her shoulder?  It had been 16 years since she had left that house that day, running for her life.  She had literally doubled her life, and she still felt like there were monsters lurking in the corners.
Every place she had ever lived, it seemed someone she knew would wind-up dead.  There would always seem to be a serial killer that would happen, and someone she knew – either well or someone she was acquainted with – would end up dead by that serial killer.   Every city!  She’d panic and pack up and leave.  Normal people just didn’t experience that.  She was sure she was reading something into it.  She had to of, because the monsters were in prison on death row. 
She shook off the thoughts, the memories, and walked out of her on-suite and into the bedroom.  She had the best security system, she lived in a small town, had a whole new name, and she knew where the monsters were.  She was safe. 
She was safe!
She kept repeating it in her head like a mantra.  One she kept saying in her head, no matter how old she’d get, she would always find herself saying it at times.  Luckily it was further and further apart, but it was still there, still needed.   She walked into her closet and stood there for a moment taking it all in.  After a brief moment, she reached out taking a black tank top off the shelf, picked out some blue jean looking form fitting soft pants, and a light weight button down shirt that she’d just leave open.  She walked a little further in to her dresser, pulling out a clean bra and matching underwear.  She might not be sexually active, or even plan on being such, but it was always a boost to a girl’s self-esteem when pretty underthings made her feel sexy. 
She quickly got dressed and threw her hair up in a messy bun again. 
She refused to look any different then she would any other night for a girls’ night in.  She wasn’t trying to impress anyone.  What was the point?  She did not want or need any kind of relationship.  She would never again.  She just couldn’t trust people, she certainly couldn’t trust men, in general.   There were a few she did trust.  Her brother Reed.  Her Dad Phillip.  Her brother in law, Callum.  Her friend’s husbands, Aaron and Greggory.  She didn’t get a bad feeling off anyone in town, not one person, and that was a rare thing.
That was a lie.  There was one person who she crossed the street to avoid.  The town crazy old man who always seemed to be drunk and talking to himself.   The town’s people she was somewhat close to told her he was harmless.  She hadn’t ever seen him do anything weird or strange besides being the town crazy old drunk who talked to himself, so she couldn’t say she had a bad vibe, just a cautious vibe. 
There were a few men she dated while on her travels.   She didn’t date anyone in high school.  She had guy friends, but no one she dated.  They’d go out on group nights, but it wasn’t ever a date between her and anyone else.  She was still friends with some of them, from high school, on Facebook.  Then there was David, who she dated in college.  After David had died, she dated one guy named Hunter for about six months while she was in college. 
Then she didn’t date anyone for a few years.  While she was in San Diego she dated Samuel for over a year, while she was there.  She got itchy once her friend Daisy was murdered.  She couldn’t stay there anymore, so she moved.  Previously she moved to Las Vegas, and she didn’t date anyone there.  She’d previously been in New York City, she didn’t date anyone there either.  She lived in Montana for about four months, it was then she moved to San Diego.  
She walked out of her closet, after getting dressed, and went in her room to sit on the edge of her bed.   She laid back and started thinking about her past. 
After Florida, the whole family had moved to Oregon.  It wasn’t long before Gabby and Bella headed off to Berkeley College, though, in California where they had both been accepted.    Reed had gone there already, and moved on to Harvard Law School by the time they got there.
She had gotten pregnant, had Emerson.  It was a horrible experience, the birth.  Right at the same time she was having Emma, David died.  The c-section ended up being an emergency.  While she was laboring, Emma’s heartbeat had slowed down.  The stress of labor wasn’t agreeing with her.  She was in grave distress.  Everything happened so quickly, she was rushed to the operating room. They had cut her open and she remembered hearing the doctor gasp.  The scar tissue inside her was extensive.  After she was in recovery, the doctor had come in to talk to her.  She had asked everyone to leave and asked her a bunch of questions.  The doctor concluded that because of all the sexual trauma that happened to her as a child, she had extensive trauma inside of her that resulted in her body responding extremely.  She was shocked when the doctor told her that not only was her daughter a miracle, because based on what she saw she was shocked she could even get pregnant and carry a pregnancy, but she determined that she wouldn’t be able to have any more children.  It was like being abused and assaulted all over again.  The doctor had also said the reason the birth hadn’t progressed was because of the damage to her insides.
She had originally started to write as a suggestion from a therapist during the trial.  She started writing again because it had helped before.  She hadn’t decided on her major at the point she had Emma, but she had taken the summer off of college and decided not to take summer courses at that point.  Gabby and Bella had gotten an apartment a block from campus, and that summer Bella wrote, and wrote and wrote.  She decided at that point that she wanted to write.  So she knew at that point what her majors were going to be. 
After college, she moved to New York with Emma. She had already published her first two books under a pen name while she was in college and she had a good stream of income coming in as they were selling very well.   It had been decided that she would hire someone to pretend to be her for publicity things.  That’s the way it had been since. 
She continued to write, the same characters.  Her main character, Penelope Hennessy, had started out as a beat cop in the first book.  She had an accident, shot in the line of duty right in the head, and woke up feeling like a different person.  She ended up, after a medical leave, on the scene of a murder.  It was then that she realized she could travel back in time, to a place where she hadn’t been before, to watch events, and find clues.  She would end up knowing who the murderer was, and have to figure out how they tried to get away with it.  She would be able to see where key evidence was.  She would get promoted to a homicide detective.  She would have a weird hot and cold relationship with a reporter named Everette Mason, whom she eventually would start sleeping with and the plan, at some point, would be for them to get married.  The relationship was slow moving though, although they did kiss periodically now and they had slept together.  But Penelope wasn’t sure she wanted a relationship with him.  He was the only person she had ever told her secret to, though.  Things did change as she wrote books.  She had fourteen books written so far, the one she was working on was number fifteen. 
When she had moved to New York after college was done it was because she felt drawn there.   Though when she had been there for several months, news reports started flooding in that women were disappearing mysteriously around town.  Then their bodies slowly started to be found.  She panicked, packed up so quick she didn’t even have much time to think.  She moved and never looked back.    She lived for a few months in Chicago.  The news had a lot of gang related and non-gang related murders.  She couldn’t deal. She went from Chicago to New Orleans, to San Antonio, then to Las Vegas, then the quieter life of Montana.  She wasn’t long in each place, and always leaving because it seemed that dead bodies were following her.  A friend, a neighbor, a boss … they haunted her.
Then she moved to San Diego.  She had that relationship.  Once Daisy died, she made an excuse to go see family in Seattle… and the rest was history.   She had driven up to meet her new niece, and stumbled across this town where she felt she wanted to plant her roots.  So she did. 
Every city she was in, women were disappearing, showing up dead.  It wasn’t that men weren’t dying, but it was the deaths of the women that triggered her response to flee.  It made her feel like she could never escape her past.  Like she had to keep looking over her shoulder.  She knew that wasn’t going to change in the Seattle area, but at least she would have Reed.  Gabby had been talking about moving closer to Reed too, and their parents had moved from Oregon to Washington already.  Dad wanted to be close to the military bases, since that’s what he was doing now.  Various government jobs with his military background.   They were already living on the Peninsula. 
Once she stumbled across this town, it was like she stepped back in time.  It was a small town.  Everyone seemed to know everyone.  People didn’t always lock their houses, or their cars.  Occasional domestic disputes broke out, the bar fights were the worst thing that seemed to happen.  There was a lot of theft of large rare trees in the area.  People would go and chop them down in the middle of the woods, and then sell it.  People would occasionally go missing but were either found or got lost in the woods and perished, it wasn’t a matter of murder.  It felt safe.  It felt protected.  It felt right. 
She got up.  Made her way out of her room and into her house.  She passed the stairs going upstairs to some guest rooms, and another family room.  She passed Emma’s bedroom door which was open and she heard Emma giggling with her best friends.   There was the first-floor bathroom door, open and unoccupied.  She of course had her own bathroom in her room with a huge deep soaking tub.  The house opened at that point, after the bedrooms and bathroom.  Her large office was across from the kitchen, but on the other side of the office, to the right, was an opened patio with two sliding glass patio doors, one side lead to the back yard, and the other opened up to the large screened in patio.  Now that they were heading into the summer season, she had pulled all that glass off and the whole thing was open to the cool evening air.  She had a great view of the Olympic mountains on the left side of the room, and a great view of the water from the right, complete with her own private beach and dock.  Out the back she had her own nice view of the woods along the edge of her property.  The open kitchen and dining room were to the left.  She saw the guys already putting up the poker table in the large screened in patio area.  They had moved her patio furniture around to make room for the poker table that seated eight people.
It’s funny, she thought, how a simple girls’ night in was turning into a big party with almost all the people she was closest to.  The door opened, startling her and making her jump, when her brother Reed and his wife Natalie yelled “surprise” before shutting the door.  Immediately she saw Gabby get up with the baby.  She hugged Natalie then handed her the baby, while she tossed her arms around Reed for a big hug.  “We heard there was a party going on here tonight and thought we’d come join in the fun!  Dropped the kids off at Mom and Dad’s and drove up here.”
She walked across the room and when Gabby started happily chatting at Natalie talking about labor and babies, Reed spotted her and walked across the room, eating up the distance with his big strides and long legs.  “Hey Sweetie,” he said kissing her forehead. 
“Hey Bro,” she smiled looking up at him.  “Just happened to go see Mom and Dad?”
“Yeah, I got two weeks of vacation time I had to take, so I took it.  Asked the kids where they wanted to go and of course they wanted to see their Nana and Pop-pop, and Aunties and cousins.  We’re thinking about doing some touristy stuff, but haven’t really decided.  We’re kind of playing it by ear, which we both know is really hard for me.”
“Mister plan down to the minute, yeah, I know,” she laughed. 
“Mom suggested we crash here for the night in one of your guest rooms, is that okay?” He asked her. 
“Of course, you know you are always welcome.  This morning I woke up to silence and tonight I’m having an impromptu party.”
“I know,” he ruffled her hair a little.  “But it’s always nice to ask.”  He looked at Natalie and Gabby, “She’s been dying to get her hands on that baby.”
“She has baby fever doesn’t she?” She asked looking at her sister and sister-in-law practically looking like conjoined twins over the baby. 
“Oh you have no idea how badly.  After they got pregnant with the girls around the same time, and how they had the girls the same day, I think it spoiled them a bit.”
Gabby and Reed both had four kids.  Reed and Natalie started their family first, they had their son Jacob before she had even gotten pregnant with Emma.  Jacob was 14 now, Sawyer was 10, Katie was 5 and their youngest, Mollie is 3.  Gabby started her family after Emma was born.  Gabby and Callum’s oldest, Caleb, was 10, Zoey was 6, Hollie was 3 and then finally little 6-week Xavier. 
Gabby and Natalie were pregnant at the same time, due a month apart, but Hollie and Mollie were born two hours apart on the same day.   Gabby was 1 weeks late with Hollie, and Natalie was 3 weeks early with Mollie.  Both spontaneously went into labor on their own.  Natalie was laboring longer, at the hospital, Gabby went there to be supportive and ended up going into labor after her water broke while in the room with Natalie. Surprise!  The girls were born the same day to the shock and awe of the whole family who was there for the event. 
“I think it’ll happen real soon, Reed,” she smiled. 
“You always had that knack of knowing things before they happened,” he kissed her forehead again and put his arm on her shoulders. 
They watched as her friends and family mingled.   Then there was a knock on the door.   Reed’s arm dropped as she excused herself to answer the door that no one else beside her and Reed seemed to hear. 
She made it across the room and opened the door to find Sheriff Gatewood standing on the other side.  All six foot of his strong muscular stature, his dark hair and green eyes starring a hole right into her.  “Hello Sheriff,” she said opening the door.   “The guys are setting up the poker table.”
He held up a bottle of wine, “Gift for the ladies,” he said.  Then he held up a six pack of beer, “and something for the guys.”  She moved aside to let him in, and took the bottle of chilled wine as he handed it to her. 
“You certainly come prepared,” she smiled at him.  She didn’t understand why she got butterflies around him, every damn time she saw him.  She didn’t like it, didn’t welcome it, and certainly didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“Boy Scout for life,” he smiled.  Damn if she couldn’t smell him.  He smelled like a mixture of citrus and musk.
She shut the door cursing the butterflies even more.   She had no idea how she was going to get through this night with the bastard butterflies and the lack of room to escape.  At least when she saw him around town, she could avoid him at all costs, she could cross the street, duck into a business, turn the other way and flee like the scaredy cat she was.  She’s avoided him for years since their first meeting, but she couldn’t avoid him in her own house. 
This was the only guy who ever gave her butterflies and she had no clue why.  There was just something about him.  “You’ve been in the town for how long now and I’ve barely seen you,” he said to her.  “Mostly I just see your back.”  She looked up at him.  “It’s hard to miss that red hair of yours.”
She automatically reached up and ran her hand over her messy bun.  Always thankful they were tight spirals but that there was some waviness and curls to her hair depending on the day and the humidity.   “Well, good to know that I’m noticed,” I guess, she thought. 
She took the bottle of wine from him and crossed the open front area of her house into the kitchen and dipped her hand in the trough of ice with other bottles of wine and wine coolers of various size, colors and flavors, making room for the new bottle that she ended up shoving in the ice to keep it chilled. 
She turned around and walked right into his chest.  It was like hitting a brick wall, there was no give.  He was a very solid man.  She looked up, slowly, and met his eyes.  She was absolutely captivated with his amazing sage green eyes.  They were practically bewitching.  “Sorry for …” she backed up a few steps “bumping into you Sheriff Gatewood.” 
This wide smile spread slowly across his face.  “Call me Jensen, I’m not on duty.”  He pointed to his left breast area on his shirt, “see, no gold star here.” 
She rolled her eyes and couldn’t hold back the little bit of a smile.  She took the beer from him and walked across the dining room and through the open patio door into her screened off back patio area.  “Jensen brought more beer.” She said as she walked into the room.  The word beer made all of their heads snap up.   She slid each bottle into the ice that filled up the long metal tub out there.  There were already a dozen bottled beers in the ice and a bunch of different cans.   As she slid the beer in the ice to chill she looked blankly at all the guys, “no one is driving home tonight, there are a bunch of guest rooms upstairs, everyone can crash here tonight if you want. If there isn’t enough, I have plenty of long surfaces people normally sit on that can also double as a bed.”  She smiled looking at all her friends’ husbands, and she considered all of them friends too.  
Her brother-in-law Callum she had grown very close to, Gullia’s husband Aaron he come early while Gillia had been waiting for her parents to come spend the night and watch their kids at her house.  Greggory and Aaron had been best friends since high school.  He had walked over with Aaron and he was setting up the poker chips.  Catrina was hanging out with Gillia until the grandparents showed and then they’d walk over. Reed walked into the room with a beer already open.  “Hey, are we ordering pizza tonight?”
Bella rolled her eyes so hard that she was surprised that they didn’t roll right on out of her head.  “Only if you are paying there Mr. Big Shot Lawyer man.” 
“Hey, I’ll pay Miss New York Best Seller Author woman,” a sly crooked smile crossed his lips.
                She looked at her brother and couldn’t stop the large smile that spread.  “Oh, you saw that, huh?”
                “Damn right I did,” he took a swig of his beer.  “I keep track of my sisters. Proud of you too, what is this, the fourth book now that’s made it up there?”
                “First one that’s made it that far up.”  It was currently sitting at number four.
                There was a pat on her back as the Sheriff walked into the room.  “Congrats,” he said walking in.  “I didn’t realize you wrote.”
                “Yeah, I write under a pen name.  I also have a girl that I’ve hired to pretend to be me so I don’t need to do any of the press release stuff.”  She told him as he walked closer to the poker table.
                He turned and looked back at her.  “Why would you do that after working so hard on a book?”
                “Well,” she felt a little panicked, and looked at Reed with probably a caught in the headlights deer kind of look.  “I don’t like attention,” she continued looked back at Jensen. 
                “She REALLY doesn’t like attention,” Reed proclaimed.  “Every chance she can get to fade into the background she takes,” he all but snorted a laugh.
                “Meanwhile,” she gave her brother a slanted sisterly look.  “Reed wants all the attention and I gladly let him take it.  That’s why you are a lawyer and I am not.”  She laughed.
                “And that’s why you hide in your office and sometimes don’t come out until it’s dark out.”
                She nodded, “truth.”  She smiled looking at each of them, thinking, she got pretty lucky with her group of guy friends.  Based on what happened to her when she was a child and teenager she wasn’t sure she would have ever trusted another guy in her whole life had it not been for the family that embraced her and showed her what love truly was. 
                “Bella here is the famous writer also known as Alison Gaynes.”
                “Oh wow!” Jensen looked from Reed to Bella.  “My sisters love those books. They all come in, practically have book club meetings with each other, Amber is always coming in, taking over my desk chair, gushing about these books and the characters.  Dragging Natasha, who works at the police station, and Nicole, who owns the Spa, in for impromptu book club meetings. The cop books, right?  They quiz me on if certain things are possible.”
                “Do I pass?”
                “One hundred percent,” he smiled.  “I will keep your secret, but I may have to have you sign some books so I can be the best brother in the world.”
                “I can do that,” she smiled.  “Well I’ll leave you guys to it.”
                As she turned to leave the room she heard Reed pipe up again.  “Best poker player I’ve ever seen is walking away boys, we should count our lucky stars.”
                Gabby popped out from somewhere, “You know Reed,” she challenged … “We could play a few games before Gullia and Catrina get here, I bet she can still kick your ass.”
                “Nah,” he said waving off both of his sisters.  “She cheats.”
                “I don’t cheat,” Bella laughed.  “I never have, at …. ANYTHING.”  Her hands hit her hips before she could stop them.
                Reed looked pleading at the other three guys.  “Please,” he whispered.  “Don’t do …”
                “I’m game, and curious,” Jensen said.
                Reed’s hand hit his face so hard it caused Bella to giggle.  “He’s just scared,” she whispered.  “But I’d gladly take all of your money.  Sadly, Reed is paying for the pizza I still need to order and if I play you guys he’ll be broke.  Then my sister-in-law would be horribly mad at me.”
                “Right!” he pointed at Bella.  “Right!  So let’s just go with a guys only game.” He turned toward the guys who were sitting down. 
                “Actually, I’m curious too,” Callum said.  “I had no clue that she even played.”
                Gabby blew out a howling breath of laughter.  “Well that’s because I like us having money.”
                Bella found herself sitting down at the poker table.  “Go ahead, sit down and deal.”  She told Reed. 
                “Well boys,” Reed said, “I am going to order the pizza and not lose my money.  You have fun with this death trap.”
                Bella laughed.   After agreeing on the game and rules, the cards were dealt.  Bella had put ten dollars out and ended up walking away with 100 dollars twenty minutes later when Gillua and Catrina walked in the door.  She had laughed, joked, laughed some more.  She forgets, sometimes, how fun it is to be around other people.  She’s one that normally would rather lock herself in a room, with her computer, and the voices in her head. 
                She got up from the table, thanked the boys and proceeded with the girls’ movie and wine night in the basement where she had a theater room set up with recliners and a huge screen. 
                At one point, Gabby leaned over and whispered to her.  “You know, it was really nice to see you laughing and smiling.  Plus, you really like him and you know it.”
                Bella leaned over closer to her sister.  “I will deny, deny, and deny some more.”
                “Yes, but, you forget.  I saw you around David and you weren’t this…  scared avoid at all cost girl with him.  What’s different? I’ve never seen you anything but confident…. Pretending or whatever, doesn’t matter, you project confidence and you don’t do that with him.”
                “Is it that obvious?” Bella asked looking at her sister. 
                “Blatantly…” Gabby murmured. 
                “Well shit,” Bella hissed and sunk into the chair even more. 
                “What are we whispering about?”  Gullia asked. 
                Bella just shook her head, reached into her popcorn and threw it at her friend.  This started a mini popcorn fight which had Bella laughing again.  “Okay okay stop now, I don’t have hired help to come clean this up for me. Nor do I have ushers.”
                “Well you have a housekeeper,” Catrina said. 
                “Yes, but I don’t leave messes hanging around for her to get around to them.”  Then she threw a few more popped kernels at Catrina before turning her attention back to the movie. 

                Several hours later, the Poker game had wound down, the big winner of the night was almost a tie between Reed and Jensen, but Jensen had pulled ahead by about twenty-five dollars.  There were amused threats of kicking him out of the bi-weekly poker games already.  Gabby had gone up to bed, with the baby, so she could feed him and try to settle down for the night.  Gullia and Catrina were sitting at the dining room table with cups of coffee in their hands, waiting for their husbands.  The four of them were going to walk home together, even though it was after 1 AM.  Bella offered for them to crash there but they said they would be fine, they only lived a few blocks away and walked over so they knew they could walk home. Plus Catrina’s kids were being watched by a babysitter who was expecting them home that night.  
                It didn’t take long for the poker table to be put away along with everything else.  The screened room was cleaned up and she was hugging her girlfriends, and saying goodnight to all four of them. 
                She went out and sat on the front porch swing.  The girls were sleeping, Callum had gone up to go to bed with Gabby.  Reed and Natalie had gone up to bed.  It wasn’t often that Natalie got a bit tipsy and she sure did tonight.  She was giggling all the way up the stairs. 
                Jensen walked out of her house, shutting the door behind him.  “Thanks for having me over tonight,” he said to her, spotting her on the swing.  He leaned on one of the patio beams. 
                “My pleasure, seemed like you had a good time.”  She was swinging just a little bit. 
                “It was great.  It’s been a long while since I’ve played poker, or had a good lad’s night with friends.”   He smiled at her.  “Cop’s work is never done.”
                “I supposed it’s not,” she whispered.  “Luckily not a whole heck of a lot goes on because of it being a small town, though, right?” 
                “You’d think,” he said leaning a bit more onto his elbow.  “But I’m sheriff for most of the county.  Since most of the townships around us don’t have cops of their own, I’m a bit on call all the time.  My deputy’s wife just had a baby about six months ago, neither of them have gotten much sleep at night since the baby came, so I’ve been making sure that I’ve covered most overnight calls around here.”
                “I see,” she said. 
                “You’ve been here, what, about five years now?”  He asked her. 
                “Yeah about that, we moved here when Emma was seven, it was when my brother’s daughter, Katie, was born. Took a little bit to find this place, but we snagged it up as soon as it came on the market.  I had a contractor come in, build an addition, make some changed, update stuff, and we moved in about six months after we first saw it.  It’s hard to believe we’ve been here that long,” she said looking up at her house.  “Seems like yesterday we were unpacking.”
                “What brought you to these parts?”
                “Well, I happened to find the town on accident.  We were driving around and just …” she shrugged.  “Got a little lost.  We came across the town and it felt so charming.  I liked the close-knit feel.  Seemed like a great place to raise Emma.”  And to hide from my past, she thought. 
                “Well,” He smiled.  “It is a nice little town.”  He straightened up and stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans.  “On that note, I’m going to head home.”
                “Are you sure?” she asked.  “I don’t want you getting into an accident.”
                “I only had two beers, been drinking water and coffee since. It’s been what,” he looked down at his watch, “four hours ago.”
                “Oh, okay.  There is another guest room,” she offered. After the words came out of her mouth, she almost wanted to kick herself.  Why was she offering him to spend the night in her house?
                “I don’t live that far away.  I’ll be fine.”  He took a few steps towards her and she got up from the swing.  “So I’ll just say goodnight.”
                She thought he was going to hug her, but instead his lips settled on hers, and his arms wrapped around her.  He deepened the kiss and she let him.  She was kissing him back, she realized.  She was enjoying it.  Her stomach started to burn with lust and want she didn’t really crave, or didn’t realize that she wanted.  The kiss was filled with heat that had her smoldering. 
                She pulled away, “Um,” she whispered. 
                “Goodnight,” he smiled, slowly.  “Sweet dreams.”
                She stood there, confused.  “Goodnight,” she muttered.
                She looked and he wasn’t there anymore.  She looked up, she could see the stars.  Sinking back down onto the swing she sat there, starring up at the stars, wondering what just happened.  Everywhere her head went. trying to make logic out of it, she ended up back at a big gaping hole of confusion. 

Standing on the edge of the property he patiently watched as some people slowly trickled out and leave her residence. He was watching her sit on her porch on her swing.   Her hair was so pretty, he just wanted to touch it, run his fingers through her hair and down her shoulders and arms, reaching up and ever so lightly tracing her breast. The though was almost too much, so he started thinking about something else.  He watched her for a few more moments, imagining that swing falling to the porch with her on it sent a curl across his lips.  He could hear her scream echo through his imagination.  He was longing to hear her scream in terror.  
He could make it happen, he would make it happen.  Maybe he’d even tamper with her swing so that it would crash to the porch. 
She needed to die.  Dying was the ultimate goal, with her.  The last thing that he would do was to kill her and possibly himself, after all, there was really nothing left after the death of Maribel.  There was no purpose, unless he could think of something to keep him happy.  Something he could build to.  They’d never catch him, he knew that.  They never would. 
He watched the bastard cop come out on her porch.  He ducked into the tree line a little further, but not far enough to no longer see her.  He watched them talk, and her whole demeaner change.  She sat a little straighter, smiled a little more, he could practically hear her heart trying to beat it’s way out of her chest.  He snarled at the thought. 
Now that she was located again, the fun would once again start.  The little game of how long she would wait before bolting from an area like a scared little jack rabbit.  How many woman would he have to kill before   There was stuff to do, like case out her house, figure out her security, decide how to kill that brat kid of hers.  He’d have fun with other women while he waited for the right time.
He had waited for years to finally kill her.  For over a decade he had bid his time.  That was coming to an end though.  He knew he needed to end this.  As much as he wanted to do watch her run again and have fun locating her, he was really getting tire of the cat and mouse chase.  It’s time to finally get the mouse and have his way with it.